


secrets

by dlm



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Strangers to Lovers, lmao i suppose??? how does one tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 21:22:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9290132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dlm/pseuds/dlm
Summary: Cassian first meets Jyn Erso in a shitty clinic in some shitty Imperial-occupied planet. He’s one of many patients waiting to be treated, but the waiting room is oddly quiet so that all he can hear is his own shallow breaths and the throbbing in his head. He puts a hand against his cheek and winces when it comes away stained red.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [davidfincher](https://archiveofourown.org/users/davidfincher/gifts).



Cassian first meets Jyn Erso in a shitty clinic in some shitty Imperial-occupied planet. He’s one of many patients waiting to be treated, but the waiting room is oddly quiet so that all he can hear is his own shallow breaths and the throbbing in his head. He puts a hand against his cheek and winces when it comes away stained red.

A woman with her hair tied in a ponytail nudges him softly. She has wisps of hair hanging down the sides of her face, and Cassian blinks.

“Could you move over, please?”

Cassian ends up with his side uncomfortably pressed against a Hutt while she slumps in the other seat next to him. The Hutt grunts, but doesn’t say anything as Cassian tries to regain what semblance of personal space he has left.

“Thanks,” she says, voice clipped. She shifts in her seat restlessly and Cassian watches her eyeing the chronometer on the wall every few seconds.

“You okay?” he finds himself asking, to his own surprise.

She seems unfazed as she looks straight ahead; gaze burning into the eyes of the clinic’s receptionist, as if she was trying to will her into calling her name so that she could get her appointment done as soon as possible.

“Cassian Andor,” the receptionist says instead, and when he gets up and limps towards the doctor’s doorway, he feels a pair of eyes watching him as he goes.

 

* * *

 

“I know you,” is the first thing she says when they meet for the second time.

“Do you,” he says, slowly. They’re both in a junkyard somewhere--he’s here to search for spare parts for K2. He’s not too sure what she’s doing digging around trash, though. He says so, and she laughs; a bright and misshapen thing.

“I’m here to search for secrets,” she says.

“ _Secrets_ ,” Cassian murmurs, unamused, but she laughs and walks away.

 

* * *

 

He learns her name the third time they meet. This time, they’re the only ones in the hovertrain carriage. His plane was being serviced, so he decided to take his time off by exploring the city. It’s evening now, though, yellows and purples and blues streaking the sky and the hovertrain hums as it moves along above the ground. She’s sat across him, and she has a book perched on her lap. When the train comes to a sudden halt, the book falls off her lap, and he hears her huff in mild annoyance as she bends down to pick it up.

A melody comes on overhead, and they both look up to its source. “ _We are sorry to inform the passengers of this train that this service has been temporarily halted._ ” The train lights go off shortly afterwards, and he raises his eyebrows.

It’s completely still, now, the whirring of the engine cut off completely. He can almost hear the sound of life hundreds of feet away if he turns around, but he chooses not to, and he stares at the train flooring instead. Light leaks through the train windows and falls on her face, like a slit through dark curtains.

He snorts, and to his surprise, Jyn catches his eye and smiles crookedly.

“What now,” she says.

“Beats me. Do you think the train will start any time soon?”

She shrugs. “This isn’t the first time I’ve had this happen to me.”

“You sound as if the train service is personally out to get you.”

“Maybe it is,” she says, voice sly. “You never know.”

Cassian laughs, surprised. “This will sound weird,” he starts, and she cuts him off.

“That’s never a good start,” she says, but she motions for him to continue.

“Haven’t we met before?”

“I was about to ask you just to confirm that,” she grins. “Cassian Andor, yeah? From the clinic? And the junkyard?”

“That’s one way to put it.”

She tucks stray strands of her hair behind her ear and smiles. “I’m Jyn Erso.”

“Hi,” he says, waving, feeling sheepish, and she laughs, and it’s still as bright and blue as before. There’s a beat. “Where are you going?”

“Home,” she says, but her feet are drawn inwards and he’d caught her biting her nails not too long ago.

Home to Cassian feels so far away, like something out of drawings made by children pasted on refrigerator doors. Like closed windows and empty rooms, like cold floors and ceilings with black mold slowly swallowing the earth whole.

“Home,” he echoes, tasting the word on his lips.

The lights flicker back on that very moment, and he lets out a soft breath he didn’t realise he was holding in. “ _We are very sorry for the inconvenience,”_ the automated message drones overhead. “ _The train is now operating as per usual._ ”

A few moments pass, before he opens his mouth to say something. “Where--”

“--Are you,” Jyn says, at the exact same time, and they both take a second to laugh; an absurd sound almost jarring against the previous silence.

“You go ahead,” he says.

“Are you doing anything else later on tonight?”

“I’m free as a caged bird,” he says, and immediately regrets saying so.

“So you’re not free,” she nods, slowly.

He shakes his head. “I was being silly. Um, I’m actually taking two days off.”

“Two days,” she says to herself, and then, almost abruptly, “do you want to spend time at a cantina nearby?”

He finds that he does want to spend time with her at a cantina nearby.

 

* * *

 

The cantina is packed, and Cassian manages to spill his drink twice in the process of getting them shuttled from the bartender back to Jyn who’s waiting in a corner in the room.

“Why here?” he says, after they’ve clinked their glasses together, after they’ve finished several bottles together. (She’s drinking at a worrying pace, but Cassian tries to keep up with her, so whatever, they’ll manage.)

She wipes a bit of foam away with the back of her hand and shrugs afterwards. “No real reason,” she says. “I just wanted to know you better.” At his questioning look, she takes another sip and glares. “Is that illegal?”

“No,” he says, and then, “you know, you can stop glaring at me now.”

“Never,” she says, knocking back nearly half of her drink in the process. Some of it ends up getting on her shirt, and she groans as she pulls a napkin away from the stack placed on top of the table. “Okay, maybe I will,” she says, thanking him as he passes a napkin to her while holding in his laughter. “Are you done laughing at me?” A bit of foam has somehow ended up on the tip of her nose, and Cassian feels his cheeks flush with warmth.

“Nah,” he says, and then, “it’s as if the only word we know is no.”

“Yes,” she smiles triumphantly. “But you see, I’ve broken the cycle now.” She beams at him, and the tips of her ears are red, and Cassian wonders. When she smiles, he can see her teeth peeking through her lips, and it’s endearing, almost.

“Your nose has a bit of foam on it,” he says, after a bit of consideration.

“I’m not that gullible,” she says, with a little pout.

“I’m being serious,” he says, reaching out over the table and to wipe away the mess with an idle swipe of his thumb. He feels Jyn almost slow down under him, as if she’s waiting for something to happen. Her breath is warm on his hand, and when he pulls away, she exhales.

“Um,” he wipes his hand on the surface of his trousers, distracted, “I told you that there was something.”

“Sure,” she says, voice bordering on raspy, and she clears her throat. Her cheeks are stained with pink, he thinks, or maybe he’s being wishful.

The thought of him being wishful for--for _what_ , he doesn’t know. It startles him, and he settles in his seat and inches away from her, as if he’d been burnt.

The moment passes, and the evening passes, and they go their separate ways, but that night he dreams of parted smiles and tangled hair and fingers entwined and he wakes up staring at the ceiling, his breath heavy in his chest.

 

* * *

 

“Cassian,” she says, the next time, voice almost accusatory, and he turns around to find her with her eyes narrowed and her hands wrapped in the edges of her jumper. The action startles him, almost, and he finds himself involuntarily taking a step closer. He hears his shoes clack against the floor, and he looks at her.

“Jyn,” he says, almost dumbly, and she goes, _where have you been?_

His mouth feels dry. He licks his lips, and he tells her that he’s been around. Busy serving the Rebellion. He wouldn’t say such a fact nonchalantly otherwise, but this is Jyn and somehow he feels as though they’ve known each other from light years in this particular moment. “Home,” he says.

“Can I come with you?”

“Of course,” he says, and somehow, her fingers end up threaded between his own. The sun is bright behind them, and the streets are empty.

**Author's Note:**

> i totally listened to wjsn's 'secret' on loop while i was writing this. pls don't hurt me
> 
> HIT ME UP ON TWIT: [@pixeldad](http://twitter.com/pixeldad)


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